“Loss is not a path we would typically choose. Yet every story of adoption begins with a woman and the voluntary loss of that which she loves most. All around us are people- friends, neighbors, coworkers, and family- whose lives have been forever changed by this Brave Love.”- BraveLove, (un)Wanted.
When I tell people that my job is working with expectant parents who are considering adoption plans for their children, many times the reaction includes something along the lines of “I don’t know how someone could do that. Do they not want their child?” It is such an innocent question, asked by individuals who are truly curious and eager to learn. Lucky for them, I love talking about the women (and men) I work with and am happy to explain just how much these individuals love and WANT the children they place for adoption; unlucky for them, I am extremely passionate about this topic and will provide more information than they bargained for!
Fortunately, the wonderful organization, BraveLove has launched a campaign titled “(un)Wanted” to show others that this notion of adoptees not being wanted is far from the truth in every sense of the phrase. These children are loved by so many people, and undoubtedly were first loved by their birth parents. After first watching the video, I thought to myself, “BraveLove has done it again!” They seem to have this knack of taking all of the things I want to share with the world about adoption, and, of course, do it better than I could ever hope! In the video, adoptees, adoptive mothers, and birth mothers are interviewed about their experiences regarding their personal connection with adoption. The emotions that are felt in the world of adoption are often so hard to convey with others, but this organization has done an excellent job of displaying how complicated those feelings are and possibly how misunderstood adoption can be to those on the outside.
One of topics covered in this video that I enjoyed most was the dialogue on the power of language. As you will see, a birth mother interviewed was empowered by hearing that she was “placing her child for adoption” as opposed to “putting up” or “giving up” her child. The language used when talking to members of the adoption triad is so important. This is especially true when discussing the reasons a mother chooses an adoption plan for her child. Birth parents often choose adoption because they feel it is the best option for their children, even if it causes them pain. Adoption is intentional in every sense of the word.
It is my hope that this video can be used as a tool to change the perception of adoption by the general population. If you have been touched by adoption, I urge you to take some time to watch this video and share it with others so they, too, can understand how special adoption truly is!